The Ring of Powers is the fifth episode of Season 2 of Ugly Americans.
Grimes, as a Central Park Zoo dragon tamer, needs to get two endangered dragons to mate. The dragons go to the D.O.I. for counseling from Mark. Because they are dragons, Leonard confronts them and gets scorched in the process.
While looking for aloe, Mark finds a magical ring belonging to Leonard and gets it stuck on his finger. The ring fates the wearer to marry Leonard's long-time fiancée, Beatrice, since she also has a matching ring. It also gives the wearer the "power of influence", allowing them to give orders that people are magically compelled to carry out.
The orders Mark gives include telling Callie to "be nice". She transforms into a pillar of goodness, adopting Doug and announcing that she has "gone good" to a room full of demons. This prompts Aldermach Maggotbone to order Twayne to kill her.
Mark assumes that the ring fated Leonard to marry Beatrice, which Leonard deceptively lets him believe. As they prepare for "Leonard's" wedding, Mark involuntarily talks in an increasingly "old-timey" fashion. Because Leonard froze Beatrice long ago in order to avoid marrying her, she becomes hideous and deformed upon her revival. However, the magical effects of the ring cause Mark to believe she is exquisite. Leonard repeatedly insults and rejects Beatrice and the other Bedfellows, but eventually gives his blessing to Mark marrying Beatrice. Unfortunately, his further perceived insults after the wedding cause Mark to challenge him to a joust to the death.
Meanwhile, Twayne wimps out on killing Callie, and pushes Doug into doing it. It is then revealed that Doug was formerly known as Cesar "The Murder Bear" Rodriguez, an assassin who once apparently destroyed an entire Bolivian village. Under threat of being revealed and turned over to the FBI, Doug agrees to kill Callie.
At the joust, Mark knocks Leonard to the ground, but before Mark can deliver the killing blow, Doug intervenes with his sniper rifle: not to kill Callie, but to cause a structural collapse that kills Beatrice. This knocks her wedding ring off, releasing Mark from its effects and anyone he has used his influence power on. As a result, Callie is no longer good, making killing her unnecessary while her father is pleased when she wants to drown a hobo.
- Mark Lilly
- Leonard Powers
- Callie Maggotbone
- Aldermach Maggotbone
- Twayne Boneraper
- Francis Grimes