The pilot is the first episode of season 1 of the Comedy Central animated television series Ugly Americans. It first aired on March 17, 2010. Its alternate title is "D.O.I. Cutbacks".


Mark Lilly helps supernatural creatures adapt to life in New York City while managing relationships with his half-demon, half-human girlfriend and boss Callie Maggotbone, and his zombie roommate Randall Skeffington.


Mark Lilly is shackled to his bed in his apartment, while a female demon (Callie Maggotbone) laughs and shouts "See you in hell, mortal scum" before flying out the window. Scorched onto the walls are the words "See you in hell". A zombie (Randall Skeffington), punches a hole through the wall, charges into the room, and removes Mark's gag. Mark is outraged by the damage to his door, remarking that the door was unlocked. Randall explains that he thought someone was getting murdered, and complains that Mark's sexual encounters with Callie are too noisy. Mark tries to explain away the deviant nature of the encounter by saying that Callie has “hostility issues". The two roommates then go downstairs and have breakfast. Mark tries to order a new door, while Randall accidentally peels off his own chin.

At work at the Department of Integration (D.O.I.), Callie gives a presentation on budget cutbacks to the Social Services Department in order to fund Law Enforcement. Twayne Boneraper introduces a quota for arresting illegal immigrants for a prize ham. Mark protests, stating that quota systems are illegal and their job at the D.O.I. is to help immigrants, rather than arrest them. Nevertheless, Twayne tells Francis Grimes and his team to arrest twenty illegal immigrants by the end of the day. Grimes and Mark get in a discussion about race, and Grimes talks about the various injuries non-humans and foreigners have inflicted upon him.

Mark is next seen giving a speech to the Social Services Department, only to realize that they have all been laid off because of Twayne's budget cuts. Mark feels overwhelmed by the new caseload, and the wizard Leonard Powers offers to help him, taking half of the files. As soon as Mark leaves the room, Leonard transforms his stack of files into a shot of hard liquor, and drinks it.

Due to the budget cuts, Mark introduces group sessions with his immigrants, and there is tension between many of the various creatures. Great Brain complains about the group sessions, and Martin, a two-headed worm creature, complains about the lack of "double ass accessible" toilets in Manhattan. Marguerette, a Haitian woman, complains about robots taking all the jobs. She claims that in her home country, all robots are toilets. Erik, a robot, takes offense to her statements. As Callie interrupts the session, Mark informs the immigrants that he is required to visit each of them at their jobs.

Mark and Callie get in a bathroom stall and are about to have sex. Callie mentions that she wants to take him to Hell, to "rock [his] world... in Hell", and Mark assumes that she's planning another sexual encounter there. They are interrupted by Great Brain, who has been spying on their encounter.

Mark next heads out to check on the immigrants from his class. Twayne remarks to Leonard that "he's going to get eaten alive out there", and Mark is promptly eaten by a creature named Bert. He is spit out on Leonard's command. While Mark sees that the immigrants are having tough times at their new jobs as he visits them, Grimes raids a chicken people sweatshop. Mark then rescues a squid named Billy that Grimes was holding above water to torture, outraged at how the squid was treated.

Randall calls Mark's cell phone, claiming to be in serious and urgent trouble. Mark leaves instantly and finds Randall, who's "emergency" was picking out a new chin. Mark, annoyed, leaves to check on zombie Tyler Mason. Tyler, a window washer at the "MDB", tells Mark that he doesn't belong there. Mark, on the phone with Leonard, reassures Tyler.

Leonard gives Mark's computer password to Callie which Mark, furious, overhears. Callie searches through Mark's cases and, at Leonard's suggestion, finds a twentieth target for Grimes: Tyler Mason. On his way to Hell, Mark complains to Randall about the incident over the phone, while Randall relaxes at a day spa.

Mark meets Callie at a restaurant in Hell. He, still under the impression that the two are meeting for a sexual encounter, awkwardly refers to having sex, only to find discover Callie's father, Aldermach Maggotbone, standing behind her. Mark realizes that he was invited to Hell to meet Callie's father. Brooke, Callie's stepmother, is also in attendance. The four have dinner, and everyone in the restaurant is put off by Mark's remarks about having compassion. Callie remarks that she is turned on by her father's hatred of Mark.

After Aldermach and Brooke excuse themselves from the table, Mark confronts Callie about the situation with his computer, saying that it's unprofessional. Callie then informs Mark that MBD stands for Municipal Brain Depository, a fact Mark did not know. This makes zombie Tyler Mason's job there incredibly inappropriate, and possibly dangerous.

The two rush to the MBD, and Mark attempts to talk Tyler out of eating a brain, telling him that it has to do with Tyler's relationship with his father. Despite Tyler getting shot by the police, Mark manages to talk him down, and he leaves in an ambulance. Twayne wins the ham for the department arresting their twentieth immigrant.

Mark is very upset, and gets a pep talk from Leonard, whom he then learns is only a hologram, and walks away. Mark is next seen in a bar with Randall, who spots a headless woman with many breasts (her face actually on her pelvic area) and points her out to Mark. Callie walks in and accuses Mark of looking at other women. Mark tries to break things off with Callie by saying that he lives in constant fear that she'll murder him, which touches Callie, and she kisses him. Randall goes home with the multi-breasted woman.

Later, at the apartment, Mark is once again tied to his bed, and shouts for Randall to help let him out. The multi-breasted woman, standing next to Randall looking through the hole in Mark's door, makes an inaudible comment. Randall replies “you have a dirty mouth.”




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